How to Write New Year’s Resolutions



New Year's Resolution (1)

Step 1. Take out a sheet of fancy paper. The fanciest paper you can find. Something really inspiring. Lisa Frank or maybe something with a wookie on it.

Step 2. Write down everything you want to change about yourself. Arms too short? Write it down! Not enough money to swim in a la Scrooge McDuck? Write it down!

Step 3. Crumple the paperĀ into a ball.

Step 4. Throw it at the nearest garbage can, basketball style.

Step 5. Repeat step 4 until you make a basket. If necessary, uncrumple the paper and write “improve paper throwing” on it and start over from step 3.

Step 6. Eat a taco.


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