Dear Taco Scientists: Can’t stop dealing with burrito cravings

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Dear Taco Scientists,

Lately I’ve been really struggling at work. My company hired a new manager and he’s one of those people that lashes out at people for his own mistakes and demeans the people he’s supposed to lead. I’ve been having such a rough time that I’ve been turning to burritos for solace. Last night, for example, I had everything I needed at my house to make amazing tacos, the components were all ready and I just needed to put them together. Instead, after learning one of my teammates had been bullied into resigning I stopped at a local burrito place and ate that instead. I felt disgusted with myself. I know eating tacos will make me feel better but I just can’t bring myself to make them.

Can you help?
Sad Employee Eating Burritos

Dear SEEB,

First let me say how sorry I am that you are going through this. It’s an unfortunate reality of our world that often the people that seek power are the very ones that shouldn’t have it.

From your letter I get the idea that you are using burritos for comfort. Think of a newborn baby swaddled in blankets and how similar that vision is to a burrito. Having a large tortilla wrapped around something wonderful and special can make you feel really peaceful and like someone is taking care of you. In the end though, you are going to have to grow up and take care of yourself. You can’t hide under your “blankets” forever.

The best way to move forward is to think about why we eat tacos. The are packed with many different flavors and textures all bursting out essentially saying “look at me”. Unlike a burrito a taco is a little bit dangerous, parts of it are probably going to fall out. If you are eating a crispy taco it could even break in half! But when that happens you pick up the pieces and start over in a newer better taco. That’s what you need to internalize because it’s also going to help you moving forward with your life. Look to the taco and its fundamental fearlessness. It’s time to embody your own inner taco break free of this negative situation you’ve found yourself in. Good luck!


Have a question for the Taco Scientists? Send it to tacocleanse (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line “Dear Taco Scientists.”

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Dear Taco Scientists: Tacophobia

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The fear of pregnant women eating tacos at high speeds. Derived from the words tocophobia (the fear of pregnant women), tachophobia (the fear of high speeds) and taco.
-Urban Dictionary
credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/273945589806399805/

credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/273945589806399805/

Dear Taco Scientists,

I am interested in adopting a taco-based lifestyle, but I have a confession to make. I am actually a little afraid of eating tacos in public. I tend to spill out the fillings all over myself and make a mess. Should I practice with a burrito first?

Sincerely,
Tacophobic in Tempe

 

Dear Tacophobic,

Firstly, let us address your last question. No.

Secondly, we have to wonder, are you tilting your head when eating tacos? Are you folding your tortillas properly? Are you opening your mouth when the taco gets close enough? We believe that everyone can benefit from a Taco Cleanse, but you have to be willing to put in the work. It takes practice and dedication for the unfortunately taco-challenged folks out there. We believe in you. Also, it might be time to stop worrying about what others think of you. If they can’t look past your hot sauce stained sweatshirt and see your inner bodymind igniting with the heat of a thousand jalapeños, then why would you care what they think? Good luck in your taco journey, TiT.

In Taco Solidarity,
The Taco Scientists


Have a question for the Taco Scientists? Send it to tacocleanse (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line “Dear Taco Scientists.”

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