Jack White’s Guacamole

Image via The Pop Jar

Image via The Pop Jar

Ever since Van Halen’s legendary ban on brown M&Ms, we have been fascinated by popular musicians’ tour rider requests. A rider is the comprehensive list of contractual obligations the tour manager must provide for a successful performance. These include technical and security provisions, but of most interest to us are the backstage food requests. Artists know that what they consume before a concert directly effects how much they will proverbially melt the audiences’ faces.

Jack White’s rider was released online in February preceding a concert at University of Oklahoma. The 20+ page list of demands includes a clearly defined guacamole recipe. The specificity of his instructions leads us to believe that Jack White has stumbled onto some initial benefits of the Taco Cleanse. Clearly, his energetic act couldn’t be undertaken without the higher vibrations provided by smashed avocados and lime juice. Imagine how his music would be elevated if he requested exclusively taco-based superfoods for his pre-show munchies.

We urge you so contact Jack White’s record label (@thirdmanrecords) and suggest that he and his labelmates include the Taco Cleanse on their tour riders in the future so they may rock out at a truly Fuego level. If you are unable to sneak backstage to try his signature dip, you can find the recipe below to enjoy in the comfort of your own home.

Jack White’s Guacamole Recipe:

  • 8 x large, ripe Haas avocados (cut in half the long way, remove the pit—SAVE THE PIT THOUGH—, and dice into large cubes with a butter knife. 3 or 4 slits down, 3 or 4 across. You’ll scoop out the chunks with a spoon, careful to maintain the avocado in fairly large chunks.)
  • 4 x vine-ripened tomatoes (diced)
  • 1/2 x yellow onion (finely chopped)
  • 1 x full bunch cilantro (chopped)
  • 4 x Serrano peppers (de-veined and chopped)
  • 1 x lime
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  • Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky. Once properly mixed and tested, add the pits into the guacamole and even out the top with a spoon or spatula. Add 1/2 lime to the top later so you cover most of the surface with the juice (The pits and lime will keep it from browning prematurely.) Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until served. Please don’t make it too early before it’s served. We’d love to have it around 5 p.m.


You can view the full rider here: link


I ate Beyoncé’s taco. For Science.


Recently we, the people of the internet, all learned that Beyoncé started following a plant-based diet. When I saw she had a taco recipe I knew I’d have to try it, and I have to say, Beyoncé’s life and mine really couldn’t be more different. She is a multi-platinum selling artist who has also been in huge movies, she married Jay Z and has two kids, and she is one of the most powerful women in the world. I, on the other hand, spend my days looking at clouds, cuddling with dogs, and probably have a negative net worth. Despite our differences, Beyoncé and I seemed to have the most important thing in common: tacos.

The recipe seemed easy enough and I headed to the store to get walnuts and coconut aminos, the latter of which I’d never heard of. I figured if Beyoncé was using them instead of soy sauce there was probably a damn good reason even if they did cost $7.

After that I stared at the bulk bin wondering if should save some money by getting conventional walnuts. But then the words popped into my head.

Of course she’d go organic.

I went home and started processing the walnuts with the coconut aminos, cumin, and coriander and I realized I was all out of balsamic vinegar. And I was planning to use some spinach in the tacos instead of the romaine that was called for until I realized the romaine wasn’t in the taco but holding it together. Baby spinach was not going to work! Even if I tried it in an attempt to make baby tacos, I knew, in my heart, I’d end up with a salad.

Off to my local HEB I went where I was stymied by the lack of balsamic vinegar. I found a million different kinds of hot sauce but balsamic was nowhere to be found. Finally, I looked in the salad dressings and found a balsamic dressing called “Sass” and I was sure that Beyoncé was helping me, but then I looked at the ingredients and realized it would not do.

And so to another store I traveled on a quest for balsamic vinegar. At this point I was getting pretty hungry and when I got home I was glad to see the rest of the recipe was really easy. Process the walnut meat, put it in romaine, and top with cherry tomatoes, avocado, and lime. I even sprinkled it with a bit of black lava salt assuming that Beyoncé only uses artisanal salt and snapped a pic.

I was a bit nervous about eating these because they really didn’t look like any sort of taco I’m used to. Plus, after all that grocery shopping I was really hungry. But they were actually kind of good? And three was more than enough. I actually felt really sick afterwards and wanted a cookie, but otherwise, if you are looking to transition to a taco based diet from a raw food diet, this might be the taco that you are looking for.

Here is the recipe from Marco Borges the author of Beyoncé’s book The 22 Day Revolution reprinted from the Courier Journal

Beyoncé’s vegan walnut tacos

Taco “meat” ingredients

2 cups walnuts
1 1/2 tablespoons cumin
1 tablespoon coriander
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon coconut aminos
dash paprika
dash garlic powder
dash black ground pepper

Garnish ingredients
2 heads of romaine lettuce
2 Haas avocados
1/2 pint cherry tomatoes, each cut in half
1/2 tablespoon dried parsley flakes
pinch black ground pepper
pinch sea salt
1 fresh lime, squeezed

Wash and drain the lettuce and tomatoes and set aside. Combine all taco meat ingredients in a food processor. Pulse several times until crumbly, making sure not to over blend. Spread the walnut taco “meat” on the romaine leaves in 4 equal servings. Slice the avocados in half and remove the pits. Peel away the skin and dice into small, even pieces. Garnish the walnut taco meat with the vegetables, salt, pepper, and lime juice

This post contains affiliate links.