Dear Taco Scientists: Dinner is too stressful

Dear Taco Scientists,

Every night at 6:30 I have a panic attack. I need to make dinner, and make it fast. But when I try to solve this problem, I freeze. Maybe I should eat frozen burritos? But wait, does a frozen burrito count as a vegetable? Is it gluten-free? Paleo? Can I juice a burrito?

I turn to the internet looking for answers. I stare blank faced at Pinterest and blogs, frozen with indecision. What if one day I never figure out what’s for dinner and waste away from starvation?

Too Stressed to Eat

Dear Stressed,

A Taco Cleanse is your answer. We recommend a week-long HOT cleanse, though a FUEGO cleanse would be even better. On the Taco Cleanse, what’s for dinner is easy. It’s a taco.

If you’re still anxious, it can be even easier. Buy flour tortillas, because they last longer. Get a few avocados and your favorite salsa. Check for a salsa bar or for fresh salsa in the produce section of your grocery store. Though any salsa will do.

Now you’re 2/3 of the way to a taco. Add one more ingredient, and you’re done. Here are five easy fillings you can keep around the house: whole or refried beans, potatoes of any kind (baked, mashed, tots), scrambled tofu, tempeh bacon, or hummus. Yes, really hummus. Hummus and avocado makes a great taco.

Don’t feel like you need to eat a different taco every night. It’s OK to repeat. If you’re up for it, you can mix things up with two fillings in the same taco. But don’t push yourself too hard.

Most important of all, remember that it’s just food. It’s just dinner. Nothing depends on eating a perfect dinner. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior because your diet doesn’t match society’s expectations. In other words, screw paleo.

Have a question for the Taco Scientists? Send it to tacocleanse (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line “Dear Taco Scientists.”

Building a Taco Community

The Taco Scientists with their Fuego Cleanse diplomas

Building a Taco Community is essential to Taco Cleansing. It’s the sprinkle of onions and cilantro on your carnitas taco. Or the queso on your Tot-cho Taco. (Trust us. It’s in the book.) You just won’t feel complete without it.

But how do your form this community? Taco lovers aren’t just everywhere. (Just kidding. They are.) Here are five ways to spread the taco love.

Try a taco icebreaker. Instead of asking “What do you do?” or “What’s your major?” Ask, “What’s your favorite taco?”

A dessert taco special from Sweet Ritual

2. Skip the cake and ice cream at your birthday party. Instead, serve Choco Tacos (there’s a recipe for an ice cream taco in the book!). You’ll be surprised how excited your guests will be, and that kind of emotion will only strengthen your relationship.

3. Convince your school or work cafeteria to participate in Taco Tuesday. Join your friends or coworkers for tacos and discuss your favorite brand of hot sauce.

4. Do you live in a state or country where tacos aren’t well-known? (Poor you!) Throw a party with a taco bar, and introduce your friends to this very important foodstuff.

5. Decorate your home with tacos. You’ll soon find out which of your friends are taco lovers when they praise your excellent taste.

8 Ways to Decorate Your Home With Tacos

After dedicating your life to tacos, you will surely want to start incorporating tacos into your home decor. To help jump-start your Pinterest dreams, here’s a list of some of our favorites:

1. Photo Printed Taco Pillow measures approximately 20″ wide x 12″ high and is “super comfortable and squishy” since it’s filled with microbeads, despite it’s “crunchy” tortilla appearance.

2. Available in 3 sizes, this woven polyester Taco Pizza Burger Throw Rug showcases your love for tacos, but without alienating your burger and pizza eating friends. The Taco Cleanse isn’t about exclusion, it’s about eating tacos.

3. Will you be my Taco Friend? Of course! The Taco Friend Throw Pillow livens up any decor, and is available for indoor or outdoor use. Who would say no to tacos?

4. It’s your favorite song to sing at karaoke, and now you can hang it as artwork in your house! The Taco Eclipse of the Heart Art Print isn’t meant to remind you about how fragile tortillas can be (especially corn and crunchy corn), but is meant to remind you that The Taco Cleanse isn’t about sadness, it’s about eating tacos.

5.Is it time for a taco? The Taco Tuesday Wall Clock sure thinks it is! Other so-called clocks on the market today merely tell you what time it is, but this clock lets you know that it is perfectly acceptable to eat tacos at any time of the day.

6. Are you currently in a relationship with a burritovore? The Taco vs Burrito Duvet Cover might be the best addition to your bedroom decor! Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to convert our partners to the taco lifestyle, they still insist on eating burritos.

7.Imagine how exhilarating your morning shower will be when you have the Pixel Taco Shower Curtain hanging up in your bathroom. That’s the power of Taco Cleansing. LITERALLY.

8.Moving into the dorms soon? College life won’t be complete without your own Taco Illuminati Wall Tapestry. We aren’t saying there’s a taco conspiracy. But we aren’t NOT saying that either.

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